- Staying Alive -

My Grown-up Christmas List

2011-12-22T18:53:00.001-08:00

Another song to share this Christmas that I find it very meaningful by Kelly Clarkson.

Do you remember me?
I sat upon your knee,
I wrote to you,
With childhood fantasies...

Well, I'm all grown up now,
And still need help somehow..
I'm not a child,
But my heart still can dream...

So here's my lifelong wish,
My grown up Christmas list,
Not for myself,
But for a world in need...

*No more lives torn apart,
That wars would never start,
And time would heal all hearts,
And everyone would have a friend,
And right would always win,
And love would never end,
This is my grown up Christmas list.

As children we believed,
The grandest sight to see,
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath our tree...

Well, heaven only knows,
That packages and bows,
Can never heal
A hurting human soul... [repeat *]

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth? Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth..
(there'd be)

[repeat *]

Enjoy the song and Have a joyful Christmas!!

Fill your heart with Love this Christmas

2011-12-22T16:42:00.000-08:00

Where are you Christmas by Faith Hill

This is my favourite Christmas song that I wanna share with all my dearest friends and family this Christmas.
A song from the film "The Grinch" acted by Jim Carrey.
The story line is talking about the Grinch stole Christmas and spoilt the whole Christmas.

When i was small, my Christmas used to be happening every year.
We had Christmas carol band in my garden, a tall Christmas tree that built and decorated together with my sisters and mom, Christmas gifts placed under the Christmas tree, a Santa Claus who really look like the real one.
We had buffet dinner, neighbours, cousins, and friends celebrating Christmas at my house.
And when i grow up, Christmas seems not so fun, no Christmas carol band, no party, no buffet, no Christmas tree, no gift....

Listen the song, and I can find the same emptiness feeling in my heart. Where are you,Christmas?

"Where are you Christmas? Why can't I find you?
Why have you gone away?
Where is the laughter you used to bring me?
Why can't I hear music play?
My world is changing, i'm rearranging, does that mean Christmas changes too?"

And this year, my Christmas is totally changed. I'll be busy working. No time to enjoy and have fun. Although I don't get the chance to celebrate this Christmas, I still wish to see all my friends and family could spend their precious holiday with their love ones to enjoy and have some fun. Most important one, is to fill everyone's heart with Love.

So, don't forget to buy your Christmas gifts and cards, seek for the forgiveness from those you've hurt for what you've done wrong and feel sorry to them.
Christmas is a season of love and forgiveness. Every heart should be filled with love.

Merry Christmas!!

Those who are happiest are those who do the most for others

2011-12-12T22:47:00.000-08:00

I began learning this long time ago,those who are happiest are those who do the most for others. - Booker T. Washington

This is a quote which inspires me a lot. And the sharing today will be a day with Great Eastern people to do a small good deed for the poor kids at Yee Ran Jing Sheh Handicapped Children's Home.

The daily supplies are given by the Great Eastern people and other volunteers for the disable orphans.

When we were heading towards the door to see the children, stinking smell and groaning sound made us uneasy and frowned.

I familiar with the smell, I had been nursing my nanny after her stroke before she passed away. But I wasn't not sure what caused the groaning and it didn't seem come from a human.

And then I found out the groaning came from the children who got tied by the fabric strings.

Different from the Spastic's children, they are disables and they don't have parents.
I don't know the reason behind and I don't want to make any judgement, simply by what I see, I notice that most of the children are Chinese.

The activities of the day was to feed the children for their lunch, dance and sing with them, talk to them and cheer them up.

If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one. - Mother Theresa

I never feed a person like this before: He is not able to sit and eat but used to lie on the floor and eat. I was struggling to feed him well (the pink color shirt's kid in the second photo above). As this is my first time, so i took a long time to just feed 1 kid. It reminds me of the quote from Mother Theresa.

The lady in floral shirt is smart, active, and helpful. I should compliment her as she did a great job to be a good helper in the center. She works well with the staff there to serve food and do cleaning stuff. During the dancing and singing session, her movement was so much better than me, dance well and sing well, whereas another boy next to her loves to take photo. Whenever he saw the camera, he would look at the camera and show the "Victory" sign in front of the camera.

20% of the orphans are not children, just like the one behind me.

well,the middle one was a little hyper,can see it in the photo.

They are all lonely and need care from the society. If only you could spend a little bit of your time to sing,dance,talk with them, you have already done a great part, it's a big contribution to the society. It's not about the number of persons you can help, it's about the sincere heart which is willing to do a good deed that matters. Just remember that, good deed is never lost.

New Year Eve: Hope, and Have A Great Fun.

2011-12-11T17:47:00.000-08:00

Let's watch New Year Eve before we open our arm to embrace a brand New Year of 2012.

It's a good movie to share as I find it meaningful especially the speech by Claire (Hillary Swank) before the Ball at Time Square is fixed and dropped at midnight.

There were many scenes made tears dwelling in my eyes and I couldn't stop it from dropping.

To the New York people, New year eve is all about the midnight kiss.

It must be great if we have this culture too.

New Year's Eve celebrates love, hope, forgiveness, second chances and fresh starts, with intertwining stories of couples and singles,told amidst the pulse and the promise of New York City on the most dazzling night of the year.

For those who having great expectation of the movie, please don't expect it to be excited,and extremely hilarious. It's just another simple but a little touching movie that gives you an idea about New year eve and the culture of New york city.

Besides, It inspires me to make my new year resolution too.
In the movie, Michelle Pfeiffer had made a list of her New Year resolution.
She's a single and pathetic woman. However, she has got someone to help her accomplish every wish in her list in a day.
I wish I can accomplish mine, in a year,too.

Remember what Hillary Swank said: Hope and have a great fun, this is the meaning of New Year Eve.

So now, don't wait to list out your new year's resolution.
And begin the countdown from today:
20,19,18,17,16,15,14,13,12,11,10.........

Let's welcome our New Year 2012 with love, hope, forgiveness, second chances and fresh starts.

♥ A Special Day ♥

2011-11-04T09:04:00.000-07:00

This is a day that we celebrate another birthday of me.
As we missed a good celebration, so we made it another day for us to enjoy.

After so many horrible days in hospital ward, finally I could really enjoy my day out there

with someone I love.


Logos Hope

We visited Logos Hope, after that we went for a shopping.

Spontaneous plan, but really nice.

I love my birthday gift this year very much.

My Birthday Gift

Time is Love

And then...
Here's a memorable night that he made specially for me.
Words definitely couldn't express what I feel.

Fame of Love

There were times that I admired others,happy for those lucky girls who have got loving boyfriends to do many lovely things on their special days. I guess I'm one of them now. It's my turn to feel happy for myself.

Because of you

2011-09-07T01:27:00.000-07:00

I wanna present this song to him.

Every time I listen this song, every time i got touched.

Wish my readers like it too.

Because of you....

I never wanna be the one who makes you cry,

I never wanna be the one who says goodbye,

All I want is to be with you tonight.

I never wanna say that word that hurt you so much,

I just wanna be the one you need to touch,

and I knew it from the moment we met,

It's the kind of feeling that you never forget.

Because of you,I will be true,

I'll do that I can to be better man,

Because of you, I will say I do,

I'll give you my heart if you just let me start to open your soul,

What more can I do?

I'm in love because of you....

My Birthday Celebration This Year

2011-09-05T00:30:00.000-07:00

My birthday this year was quite special.
It's memorable.

Very unfortunately that the whole Raya holiday I could only spend all the time in hospital ward,to be more exact,I spent all the time on the bed with the irritating drip that made me feel like staying in prison.
It was something that really upset me as it was wasting my precious time.
I want to celebrate my birthday and go somewhere away from Penang.

well, I wish i could be strong and healthy.

Nevertheless, I am touched, real touched.
Never thought that a man can be so tender and patient.
Took care of me like a baby, as if treating my life as his life. He spent his entire holiday and all his time with me in the ward,
yet never complain and never be impatient even though he was very sick,too.

I am also touched by all surprises I've got.

I thought that no one would celebrate with me on my birthday since I was so sick already.
All the negative thoughts disturbing me seriously.
But my love one had cheered me up with a laughing-clown-face ice cream cone on my birthday eve.
I was happy although I could only watching at it.
I appreciate the effort done by him.
He was so nice and sweet to me.
Please forgive me that I failed to express what i felt deep in my heart on that night,
when the pain and illness that I was enduring made me so sick.

Besides, thought that my good friends were going to pay me a visit only,
but they managed to appear in the ward with a birthday cake on their hands and sang a birthday song to me.
They were so thoughtful and nice. Thanks a lot,girls.
11 years of friendship and 9 years of friendship.
Time flies, but you both stay.

Lucky and unlucky depends on how you think about it.
I think I am lucky.
I believe being contented is the way of living.
I have someone who takes care of me well, I have friends who cares and concerns about me, I have good friends who being thoughtful and nice to me, I have got so many birthday wishes from friends....

I am sure my birthday this year was special and unforgettable.

Weekend Getaway

2011-09-03T18:59:00.000-07:00

This is a really great weekend getaway that i would like to share with readers.Having a 1 day trip is not really that rush.

Hatyai is a famous small town that a lot northern region Malaysian like to go.

Here are some photo taken during the trip:

[small fried worms selling by Thai people at floating market]

[Big fried worms are sold at the floating market]

The taste is only salty, expect it to be spicy though but it's not.

So, here is the guy who buy 20baht of 3 types of fried little creatures.

Happy Anniversary,Love.

2011-08-22T04:32:00.001-07:00

Never thought that me and my love one could be together for so long.

Generally, everything is just wonderful.

Never expect that this relationship could last by having a heart with scars.
Having no confidence in any relationship. All the doubts keep pulling me back.
Yet, we made it through.

Although no one knows what future may hold, i believe we will do the best.
If it doesn't turn out right, we would still treasue all the memories we shared.

I am still grateful for what I have now.

Here are some photo to share which taken on our first anniversary, enjoy:

Although no one knows what future may hold, i believe we will do the best.
If it doesn't turn out right, we would still treasue all the memories we shared.

I am still grateful for what I have now.

Here are some photo to share which taken on our first anniversary, enjoy:

I am a real lucky girl who have met such a wonderful man in life --

a man who always make up my days, having great patience, taking care of me like a baby.

I am truly thankful for what i have.
Thank you so much,love.
Wish we can get through all the ups and downs in life together.Happy Anniversary!
=)

Happy Birthday to ALL of us.

2011-08-22T03:50:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to ALL August babies.

Especially to my good friends:
Ming Chen 4th Aug, Chia Ming 4th Aug, Gladys 12th Aug, Lilian 24th Aug, Wei Ling 25th Aug.

Happy birthday to my beloved one too.

Since my birthday is only 1 week after my sis's birthday, so we used to celebrate it together.
and this year, it's a bit different, adding 1 more person into our family.

Because all birthdays are quite near to each others, we decided to celebrate it together.

Thanks Paul for the birthday cake.

It's a simple one but it's nice.
August babies, enjoy your birthday month to the fullest!!
Happy birthday!! ^^

A Last Goodbye.

2011-03-31T21:51:00.000-07:00

This suppose to be a blog that i keep all my happy memory,
but today,i'm gonna break my rule,
i'm gonna write something that will make me cry non-stop.

I'd like to say a last goodbye to my dear friend, Eugin.

So, this was the only photo i had with him.
and also the last time we met.
I thought we could take nicer photo someday in Bangkok.
guess never have this chance again.

We used to mention about our first met.
Coz it was a lil funny and embarrassed.
We thought about that and we laughed together.

I smacked his shoulder and said hey.
He stunned.

I saw his reaction,soon i realized that i recognized a wrong person.
I thought he was Julian, his brother.
Both of them are my great supporters and my great friends.

Ever since then, he kept asking me that if he's really looking that matured.
He used to complain about my comment,
said he disliked me to say that, " you and your brother look alike."
He used to complain about my another comment too,
I said he was cute.
He argued that it was ugly but adorable.
He said he hated it. [making his face like this ----> >.< ]
haha..I know he'd never been serious about that.

He was a friend who would entertain you when you're bored,
telling you his funny stories and interesting experience of his life.
Make you laugh your head out with his humorous words.

When he's in front of you,you could see all kinds of funny facial expressions.
When u didn't get to see him, you could get disturbed by him through msn,
and listened all his jokes.
See how he impressed people by the way he talked and acted.

well, although he looked like a happy-go-lucky,
yet he's the one who always got me worried about him.
Worried about his insomnia, his drinking habit, and his mood swing.

now, i guess i can just stop worrying about all these.

I'm sure all his family and friends are in pain now.
For we miss him so much but never get to see him again.

I'm sorry for his brother, Julian.
I don't know how he get through it.
coz even me,myself, i don't know how to control my emotion.
The tears just out of my control.
anyway,wish all his friends and family stay strong.

Alright, guess i need to stop here.

Eugin, i'm sure we'll meet again someday up there.
Goodbye. Miss you always.

Untitled

2010-08-15T09:56:00.000-07:00

I couldn't believe that i made it.

It has been 8 months after the broke up.
From a lost girl turn into a hopeful,passionate, and an energetic girl.
Seriously, i couldn't believe what has happened and what is happening.

you're great, you're awesome, Jill. Keep in up !!

Look back what i have done to achieve what i wanted in the past 7 months, the strong feeling of success is really exciting.

I promise myself to give myself a break, a holiday. I made it.
I said i wanted to expand my social network, i made it.
I wanna help those people who needed my help, and i made it as well.
Everything that i wanna do, i make it happen and the result is, i got the real happiness that i've been longing for a long,long time.

It's fun, it's delighting, it's something more than words can say.

For the past 7 months, i met a lot of friends. hi-bye friends, good friends, awful friends (they suck,but i don't treat them as enemies), close friends, party friends, and a lot of strangers who are not falling into any category above.
We share different experience, we learn a lot from each other. and so, I move on very fast.

Although most of the people around me strongly dislike my part time job and wanted me to quit, i know that they're just being caring, i can feel their loves towards me. Thanks for everything, but please give me some support and show me some respects to my decision. I have my reasons to stay.

From there,my dreams begin, and it makes my dreams come true.

I have a clear direction and i know the route that i'm taking. That's what matter most, right?

Thanks for leaving me.

2010-03-10T06:24:00.000-08:00

It's been ages i didn't have any new post in my blog. May be some of my friends are waiting for the update,wish there's someone does. I'm sorry for being absent for so long, as if i had disappeared in this whole wide world.

I just wanted to tell everyone that i'm doing fine. I'm still surviving after the painful broke-up.
I'm sure everyone is glad to know that i'm happy for my present life now. It's much more meaningful than the past when i was in the previous relationship. I couldn't say the time when i was in love was not meaningful, but then i have got to admit that it's not as meaningful as the life i have now.

I had once lost the direction,lost myself when i was in love with the wrong guy. But when you're already with the one you love, would you appreciate what you have,or would you moan about it all the time? this was the question i used to ask myself, work hard on it or keep complaining without doing anything? i chose the first option, be positive and work it out.

and then, even though it ended up like shit, haha.. i do not regret as i had tried my best. It was my best, seriously.

I wanted to thank him for giving me both good and bad experience as I have learnt a lot from him. and I believe we made the right decision to let each other go. I've gotta admit that i'm hating him as he's such a jerk and he's the biggest liar i've ever met in life. Yet, i've gotta admit that i'm loving him as he had given me good times too.

In conclusion,
Hatred + Love = Neutral

Hah~ Jill's equation
I know it's funny, i know it doesn't sound right and make any sense...whatever...this is my blog, i'm just writing out my own thought. Up to u all agree or disagree. hehe.

So, basically the message i'm trying to send to my friends is that do not worry about me, i live a better life and i'm staying strong. I have got back everything that i lost when i was with him. I finally know that how happy l can be when i don't need to worry about where he's going tonight, will he sneak out from bed to somewhere else...all the insecurities really upset me. but it's all gone, it's such a relief. phew~! long last!

I'm sure everyone is happy for me especially my friends, and some of his friends too.
Specially thank to those who helped me during my hard time. Too many to list down.
They know who they are. I love them all. Never thought that i lost the one who doesn't love can get back so many people loving me in return. I've gotta use the f word to express my feeling now, i'm f* ing lucky man!!!! lol~

seriously, i'm really,very, lucky. I guess, I've gotta thank him for leaving me.

A Letter from an Angel.

2010-01-17T00:47:00.000-08:00

After a long break, it's time for me to share thoughts and feelings in blog.
I guess, most of my friends had heard about my relationship that it did not work out.

and I got a real bad sick after the broke-up. The good thing is that I manage to get over it and STAYING ALIVE.

There's something i feel like sharing here. It's a letter from my twin sis, Kelly. A letter which gives me strength, motivation,and encouragement.

I'd like to thank her for allowing me to share its content in my blog.

From my angel to me:

Dear my twin sis, i'd like to thank for showing you to me, allowing me to know you more deeply during and after NS. Without fate, i wouldn't know you're a "twin" for me (& vice versa). in these few days,i've a real wonderful time with you, having pillow talks, eating good food, pampering each other. daring ourselves to adventure unfamiliar roads, get good books, snap good pictures & etc.

wow!! we've done a lot, haven't we?I really hope you enjoy and love all these new experience together with me as i really do. Treasure these memories,will you?

I know what you're worrying with after steeping back to Penang and your home. You're worried that you have to face your daily life again (reality), facing the past emotional pain, past memory and the past you.

well, i purposely underline the word "past" because it has become your past, don't you realize it?

From what you've shared to me, i know that you've gone through a lot, hardship and challenges that i could never imagine. You've shared from your childhood experience, teenage, and even till now. All i can say is, you are a real strong girl. a real fighter, and a real lover who stay strong, fight for survival and spread your love to whoever in need.You're willing to give anything a try (in fact sincere & big try) to something which you think is impossible like travel alone to One-Utama alone, coming to my house, trying a relationship, sitting for exam, going for medical help, working with strangers & etc.

Frankly, i really think that you are a strong and determine girl who are clear with wrongs and rights, and your inner voice is so strong that she keeps on talking and whispering whenever dangers and happiness approach. It is a matter of whether you wanna hear it or neglect it.

Jill, i really wish to let you know that you have strong heart and mind. Not everyone can face and do like you did. Trust me, not everyone.

You've succeeded showing me how can stand up to face the world all by yourself.
No one help nor pull you to stand up, but yourself. I am just here, witnessing your success. And, this is you, Jillian Lee. Also, this is the present you.

I can see you're ready to face your life again, after hiding from it so long. Trust me, my twin sis, that YOU ARE READY. Although you might deny your ability, still there are proves that you are ready. Think of what you have done for yourself in these few days when you're in KL. How you take care of your health, how you dress up for yourself, how you speak with strangers and how you control your mind and emotion by yourself.

These are your success and celebrate them. If you keep these mind and attitude, i believe you'll do the same in YOUR FUTURE - even just yourself.

Leave the past, appreciate your present, and plan for future. I know you can face the coming road as this is Jillian Lee.

Kelly is proud of you. You're always in our loves.#

I read it in the bus when i was leaving KL. Tears filled my eyes as reading it, i know,I'll be different after this, with all the love and support i have.

A trip with new experience, new memories, and new friends. and then,i come back with a brand new ME. :D

An event of Dewar's.

2009-08-18T00:36:00.000-07:00

It was a beautiful sunshine on a Saturday morning, and we (i mean, me and my girlfriend, Gladys) had to go to work at a golf club, i had never been there before until this day.

Rush...rush...rush...

ended up, my phone was left at home. T_T

I couldn't snap all those memorable scenes without my camera phone, and so, i failed to share it with my readers now.

Let's see what a Good and Bad experience we'd got.

I start with the Bad one, again, try to make it short.

The bad thing was that the agent was too greedy taking so much commission from us.
Gladys got the news of the actual wages from the Director, and then only we knew that the agent was taking off 50% of our wages. i mean, of course she can get her commission but isn't it too much?
The work was not so easy as we thought, especially working under the hot sun.

I almost used up half of my sunblock. I had a feeling that my muscle was going to be ached like hell as i carried and delivered so many packs of ice on my own.

and ya, i was having muscle ache for the next 3 days.

" if it's good, take it as a bonus; if it's bad, take it as a valuable experience."
- stated on my water tumbler by anonymous.

Hence, just forget about the bad things and focus on the good things then.

The good thing was that i had learnt a lot from the event, such as, the rules of driving buggy, seeing how the event going on, and the funny one, how to fetch 3 people , 2 booths and 1 golf set with a buggy. Awesome experience of mine, Maeva, and Vivian. The memory is still fresh in my mind, especially the moment the buggy was driven down the steep and slope path.

Besides, i'd learnt a lot from Catherine, the event supervisor i guess (not sure about her position). I didn't really know her, didn't know if she's good or bad, somehow she shared quite a lot of experience of hers with me. May be it's because of i kept asking her questions.
what to do, i was on the rotate position and forced to stick with her whole day just because i didn't bring my god damn phone. if i kept quiet all the time, the ambience was kind of embarassing and it would be freaking boring too.

Is there anything to do with the picture above? yes, absolutely.

It's the drink we served - Dewar's 12 years old.
It's amazing that the golfers could still play golf after drinking it.
Some of them drank pure whiskey without mixer and ice, very much of it.
Unbelievably, they could still attend the dinner at night.

Do you know how much of Dewar's they prepared for the event?
and guys, i tell u it's as much as Gladys and Maeva can use it to bath their bodies.
no bluff, it's real. (just a little exaggerate)
But ask them and you'll know. lol

Alright, back to the topic, this event was organized by Dewar's company. The golfers were required to pay around RM 350 for the enrollment fee, inclusive a dinner at golf club ballroom and a goodies bag worth thousand of dollars. Also, the Dewar's they drank in the tournament day was totally free of charge. Plus, there were pretty girls around to entertain them.

Well, faking smiles too long made my cheek's muscles stiff. It caused my head ached too. I was all in after the event. Sleeping whole day on Sunday, don't even care if the sun was shine or the sky was grey. Just Sleep - the only words in my mind. #

p/s: special respect to ms.Abby and ms.Dory firsh to fire the agent with their bravely big guts. =.=ll

- Photo from Vivian's blog -
[Vivian, Maeva, Me, Gladys, Xin Er]

hey, something to share with you.

2009-07-17T07:57:00.001-07:00

Now,i have few photographs which i took at work that i wanted to share with my friends.

- Me & Mr.Tong [ humorous and kind ]
Just like my father, he's a traditional typical English educated man.
He reminds me of my dad everytime when i talk to him.

It was so nice to meet the Mr. Kang who is a warm-hearted man of spreading chinese philosophy 弟子规 and helping those people who suffer from domestic violence.

- It's your Duty to Combat Domestic Violence -
The English translation of the Chinese words in the poster:
I promise, say no to violence, and be loving

It's my pleasure to know Mr.Kang as he's such a helpful,kind,and cheerful man who brings happiness to the orphans and the victims of domestic violence. My pleasure to know Mr. Tong too, as he's such a loving and grateful person. There is a lot of positive characters that i could learn from them.

I told Mr.Kang that i'm interested to be a volunteer to assist them in helping the victims, but he said because their main focus is to spread the knowledge and increase the awareness of the public about domestic violence, so my main focus to help the victims directly, i shall go to another center which is providing counselling session to the victims. But before that, i still have to attend the classes organized by Mr.Kang in order to know the ways to counsel and guide them.

As i have got to spend quite some time if i'm going to join them, thus, it's still under my consideration. Due to the short semester in college, everything comes at once. Luckily i give myself a short 1 week holiday otherwise i might not be able to breathe. In addition, i'm looking for an english tuition (obviously you know why,if you read my blog), i wanted to improve my vocabularies, so that everytime i blog i don't need to flip through the dictionary again. and also i wish to strengthen my english conversation so that i won't be stuck at where i coundn't find a right word to describe a thing. It's still hard for me to speak fluent english without grammatical and tenses mistakes. Just wanted to say NO to lousy broken english which i used to speak all this while. Hopefully i can make it before i step into the working life after my graduation. and if i start my tuition, the time is going to be lesser for me, another thing is i'm looking for a job as well. How to spend time to cope with so many things at once will be a tough task to me then.

So, to join or not to join them, it's still a question in my mind. I'm sure he'll advice me to join them later, there's still time for me as i'm still young! perhaps, it's the only choice. To join them later or to join them whenever i have free time in between tuition, doing revision and work.

Well, time is up and i'm not going to say much things about Mr.Tong, just shorten everything into: i had a good time with him at work as he taught me something important of having a healty lifestyle and what we should do when we are aged. In case you all interested, i think i should share something he said to me, it's really something worth to share with. He said when we are old, not much things we can do, with the weak aged body we can do something lighter like go to the temple meditate and pray everyday. As such, when the time we leave the world comes, it'll be much easier, smoother.
There are some more elaborations, but the time is limited, so see ya in the next post.

p/s: Thanks Mr. Tong for giving me the precious knowlege. I will not forget what i've been taught and will practice it in my life.

A Gift Arouses My Heart.

2009-07-15T03:22:00.000-07:00

It's just a short post to show my gratitude towards my angel friend,Kelly,for giving me a lovely gift and a warm hug to me.
Thanks a lot for lifting me up everytime when i'm going downward..
may be she doesn't know how much the hug meant to me, but it's alright, she'll know one day.

I was all in after the death of my dog and forced to put on a brave face at work, couldn't even express my feeling out on the day of his death and the following days. and then, i got to entertain his cousins with the not-okay-at-all feeling went to Genting and KL.

However, i gained a lot after the trip, i got a lovely gift from my friend, got the hug that i'm longing from a friend and also the friendship between me and his little cousins. May be because of under the strong magnetic field's influence, i managed to overcome my fear to meet his friends without being shy and quiet. haha... i am still shy, but at least i try..try hard for not being shy and to let people hear my voice.

A Book about How to find Happiness and Keep it.
- a gift from a thoughtful friend

by the way,i have started reading it already.
Hopefully i can practice it in my real life.

In conclusion, i had another wonderful experience in Genting with the 2 tiny little boys from Taiwan and had a good time in KL (even though the physical sickness made me sick) espcially with my angel,Kelly.

Thanks for everything.

Holiday Getaway to Cameron Highland.

2009-06-19T05:05:00.000-07:00

Everything is just too good to be true.
What a wonderful holiday i had!
and, it's about to end.
I just don't feel like letting it end so fast,
i still feel like my holiday is just started!
Time oh time...would you mind slow down your speed for some time?
alright, i know you mind.
so, let's move on. (Be positive,still)
The good times i had are such a great motivation for me to head towards the next sem.
The motivation comes from the contentment, happiness, and also the refreshment of mind.
What on earth was delighting me so much until i got all these positive energy in me?
Alright, let's see the photo and video, and you'll know how happy i am with the energetic,humorous,playful gang traveled to Cameron Highland.
This is my maiden journey to that greenish environment with the very refreshing fresh air that i desired so much.
I thought, in fact, it would be as dull as going to Genting when there are nothing much we can do up there. Yet, it didn't disappoint me at all.
With all the hilarious jokes and conversations of the perfect gang, everything's changed.
and here, i wanted to thank all of them for the company.
All of them:

In this trip, we ate, we played, we laughed, we took photos, we shared things.
How many good memories with friends could we have in a lifetime?
if there are million times, i will treasure every single one,
as every one of it is special.
and i treasure everyone who creates the good memories with me.

I was thinking to write the whole journey from where the trip began until we back in Penang.
But who cares about the details now? especially when pictures can tell where we were.
The most precious thing is already in our hearts - the memory.

____________________________________________________________________

here's a video i recorded with my phone when the most disgusting drink in the world was drunk by our dear friend - Hock Choon.

I'll be missing you,Sis.

2009-06-10T00:19:00.000-07:00

I have been waiting for a long time for the return of my sis who used to sleep beside me in the same bed since i was small.
and finally,this June, she's back.
Even though it's not a long holiday for her, however, it's good enough to see her back in full-piece. LoL...
I miss her so much,especially after watching horror movie at night and scared by the boom bang sound of the ghastly thunder. =.="

Not gonna gush out about how the relationship between us is going on and to prevent over-sharing something in the blog. I'm gonna shorten the whole long grandma story into 3 words, everything is great! Let's see the photo we took during lunch time after her arrival from airport:

Do we look alike? =]

So, this is my eldest gorgeous sis and me. :D

i'm always here for you,sis.. and i hope life is treating you nice.
call me when you feel that you're all alone,i know this feeling quite well, so, i don't wanna let this happens to all the people that i care and love.

well...before you left,i wanted to give you a loving hug..but god damn you said that i was soooo damn smelly after you kissed on my cheek...wtf* >.< (LoL)
try to recall it..and i'm sure there's a smile on your face when you rewind the film of your memory back to that moment..
ape ni busuk busuk...see how "good" you are...grrrrr....

see, i told you, you smile... =)

- end -

Holiday Part -Time Work

2009-06-02T03:27:00.000-07:00

It's been some time since the written of previous post.
Now, i would like to share what i've been doing for the last whole week at the end of May.
Ever since i quit the job of the restaurant, i work as a casual worker for some road shows.
At first, i worked for a slimming and skin care centre named Bizzy Body.
From there, i met the boss of a furniture shop. and then, when he needs people for his road show, he'll let me know to see if i could work for him.
It's the easiest job i have ever worked.
Almost doing nothing but sitting on the bed, being a "human vase"...hahaha..
i told the boss about this "human vase", i felt that i was like a brainless and useless people at work.
He answered me, "you said you are a vase..and you know what, not every people can be the "vase" you meant.." then he laughed at me.
He is a good boss, if he doesn't need people to entertain him, he'll be perfect..

Never thought of selling bed before...this is a good opportunity for me to learn more about bed and... the marriage's life of the boss.. LoL

So, next time i will have a special discount for buying new furniture, beds or mattresses. I believe this is the good karma for being a good listener and counselor to the boss at work. I wish there's improvement of his marriage after my encouragement and advice to him. Happy 10th anniversary of marriage to him.

I was thinking in a week time, who would appear in Tesco? and i find that young people don't like to go Tesco.. =(
On Monday to Saturday, i didn't even meet one friend there..what a tragedy..i was so damn bored!
I sat still on the bed without any movement, i was exactly like a tree without green leaves on it...
my conclusion,Tesco is a heaven for aunties and uncles.
Until Sunday, finally... i met Chris, Nick, and Doreen.
at least i get to see some people i know...otherwise i would be fully rotten on the five star King Koil bed.

After this road show, i don't know what is the next time to work for them.
May be next year,or may be i'm not gonna work for them anymore if i get a new permanent job. I was glad to know Mr. Tong and the Boss.
Mr.Tong was humorous enough to make me laugh non-stop..an uncle like him with a serious-looking face, i couldn't imagine he's such a joker...
what a pity,i forgot to take a photo with him and the boss for a memory.
Why am i so forgetful?! I won't make the same mistake again, i swear!

Lastly, i've gotta advertise for the boss for thanking him as giving me a chance to learn about beds.
The show room is at 458,Jalan Jelutong, 11600 Penang. (opposite the mosque)

A day filled with up and down: 20th May 2009

2009-05-22T03:20:00.000-07:00

It's been two days i couldn't online updating my blog and see what my friends were up to in facebook and plurk. Today, i'm here to share the happiness (positive) and also the sadness (negative) on 20th May 2009 [Wednesday] with whoever is here to read my blog. I would like to mention the positive one first and try to shorten the negative one.. alright, my life is full of positives (ups) and negatives (downs), and i believe that everyone's life is the same..but no matter what, i will try hard to balance it so that my life will be even more beautiful in the future.

First, i would like to congratulate my friend, Victoria, who had just registered marriage on 20th May 2009. I'm so happy and excited for her marriage. May be i can say that i'm not a good friend of hers, but me, i'm one of those kind who will feel happy for anyone of her friends' happiness. Even though i couldn't really enjoy it that day as i was really worried about my dog who was extremely ill at home,however,i just didn't want to miss the important moment of her life. Because i know and i care, that's why i was there - the marriage register's department. I'm not sure if i get the chance to go in there one day, perhaps, i will..perhaps, i will not. That day i talked quite a lot with her. One more thing i'd like to tell her is that, i hope one day i can be like her with the guts and certainty she has for the future of marriage, overcome the fear in me and then fulfill the dream of my life. Another thing that made my day was meeting her husband's buddies. They were so humourous in every conservation. Humor,that's right,it is what i needed now!!~ They successfully lighten up my cloudy day.

Congratulations, Vic..i wish you a happy marriage..=) By chance i met the Rasa Sayang crew, i guess i will give myself a try to join Rasa Sayang in the near future.. i was still hesistating ealier on..my dad would like me to work there when i discussed my future with him.. and now,by meeting the humourous heads, i think my fear to go for an interview in Rasa Sayang is getting much lesser. After the registration ceremony, i was invited to join them for lunch. Many more jokes, funny and interesting topics..hahaha..now when i recall it, it makes me smile..[i wanted to laugh but my family would probably think that it's freaking insane] So, after a goodbye to everyone. I met my ex-colleague, Nick, outside the mini market beside Vintage Bulgaria. We stopped there awhile, then rushed back to my house and luckily i saved my dog! The vet said he would be dead if we delay 2 or 3 hours later. I heard the SPCA pet transportation driver said that this vet has the most expensive charges in Penang but he is the best. Thus, i hope he can really cure my dog as i see him doesn't wanna "go" yet. He is very ill, he couldn't stand up and walk at all, yet he never stops trying to stand up again. There are two options for him, let him sleep or let him continue his life. I choose the second option. I think he doesn't wanna give up yet. It will be tiring for me to take care of him all alone, my family members think that is my responsibility. No matter what, i will do my best to take care of him until his last breath of this life.

He's cute,isn't he? no matter what,he will always in my heart forever and ever.

In fact,i was happy because the vet is willing to treat him, while the other vet had totally given up of him already. It still considers as a positive thing on that day. To the vet and my dog, i'm still positive to them.

But when it comes to my family...i guess...let me shorten the whole negative thing into one sentence: i had a big fight with my family. well, may be the "best" is yet to come..haha..there's a huge gap between my thinking and their thinkings. At this moment, i can say i hate them...only at this moment..i know it won't last..but still at this moment...[sighing]
I decided to go out from the place which almost no air in there - my house (shall i call it home?i guess...not now..) i couldn't breathe.
When i was crying and driving on the road, i realised i had no where to go.
Who should i call to? pyng? she's not here. my boyfriend? awhhh nope! no no no no no!
and then, i remembered that i had a date with my friends at House of Steamboat
at 8pm. When i looked at the time, my eyes were red and swollen. How could i let all of them see this miserable me when they all thought i'm already strong enough these days? oh god..you must be kidding me..i've been waiting a long time to hang out with them!
End up,i decided to be absent, the reason was i didn't want to spoil their moods.
what a lousy excuse. [laughing ironically]

Then, i drove up to Batu Ferringhi. A place where brings me tranquility in mind.
I spent the whole evening at Sunset Bistro. I knew i chose the right place to calm myself down.

at least I had this parrot keep me company a whole evening...hahaha..
It's noisy when it speaks/shouts/yells..whatever..i only know its voice is extremely loud. I didn't really mind if it's noisy or not..as long as i could feel something around me,so that i wouldn't feel that i was all alone.
With the relaxing sound of the waves, the miserable feeling was getting better.
I started to read my book: Meditation - the most natural therapy.
I learnt about the relaxation, energy, concentration and creativity..4 chapters.
It helped me a lot. I found that things were not that bad anymore when my mind was calming down.
Then, i began to keep my focus on the evening sunset and beautiful scene of the beach. One of the practice of concentration which brings myself to the present, breathing slower...breathing deeper..aware of the rythm..
I totally fell in love with the sunset of Batu Ferringhi. The pain, as if it no longer so existed, replaced with a contented smile.
How i wish he could be there enjoying a breezy evening with me..
Alright, this time i'll end my post with a short video.
Let's see how the lovely parrot cheer me up:

A Good Day Today: 14th May 2009

2009-05-14T07:35:00.000-07:00

I am really happy for meeting my long lost friend today, and also for visiting the old lady who i have mentioned in the previous blog.
I don't know how many years since the last chat with my old friend, yu yin.
If not mistaken, i think it's more than ten years...haha...we know each other since standard 4!
I have got so many things wanna share with her, and so does she.
But sometimes, too many things come out in my mind, i'm stuck as i don't know where to start.
May be we should arrange some more time to hang out so that we can know what's happening to each other life all these years.
I'm impressed by her smile, it's still the same. I have realized that she used to smile when she talks. I know it long time ago.
And finally, today i get to see it once again. Let's see the photograph of two long lost friends have taken:

Even though there is something frustrating her lately but i know it will be alright soon. She is kind of a strong and cheerful girl to me. I will never ever forget her smiling face in my life. =)
This time I didn't forget to give a hug to my good friend. (i forgot once to my best friend, pyng, before she left to Singapore) >.< the time was not enough for us..but good times is yet to come, no rush.

After the meeting, i went to visit the old lady who was my ex-colleague of Bumcity. On the way to her house, i saw someone familiar, i stopped my car at the road side to see if he was someone i know. And it was Jerry, so i gave him a ride to his destination. (i'm not sure how to spell his name, it might be Gerry, but there was a time i spelled it as Jerry and he didn't correct me,so i think it's Jerry all right.) He didn't want to trouble but i insisted to give him a ride. How could i see and let this nice person walking alone in such a hot weather? I was glad to do him a favor. He said i could go to DOME one day and he would buy me a meal. Well, he said like that, i think i wouldn't go to DOME again. haha...it was just a small favor, it's not worth a meal at DOME. But i would like to see him again, as he always has a friendly smile on his face, i like to see people smile. And you wouldn't know how nice his smile is until u meet him. =D Then, i reached the old lady's place, she looked so happy when she saw me. I know she's missing me...and i'm so sorry to her that i took a long time to visit her, it almost 5 years. Hope it's not too late, i made it at last. She looked even happier when she saw i've bought her a pack of melon seeds. She has two doggies, and they are sooo cute....i've taken lots of photographs of them but show the nicest ones here:

She trained the doggies well, and i can see the doggies dare not to be naughty.

So nice I get to see her and meet her lovely doggies. I've met a new aunty there, she is a friend of the old lady. It's nice to meet her too. In the photograph below, aunty Ong(left), Me(middle), the old lady(right).

She told me a lot about her son who has just graduated as a master, now working in Singapore. He is still single. I through his graduation photo, hmm.. not bad looking, so i decided to introduce him to my sis next time when she comes back. I've written down his full name but i failed to find him in facebook. =(
She has gone to her son's graduation in Australia and stayed there for 2 weeks.
I'm happy for her, to have a good son and got the chance to travel so many beautiful places in Australia. I'm so happy to see her in good health and see life is treating her not bad. I spent about 3 hours at her place, talking... watching tv and eating fried bee hoon, sweet potatoes, durian. I went in her house with a flat tummy but came out like 4 months pregnant lady as i had had my lunch before i went to visit her...=.="

After 5 years, finally i get to take photo with her as a memory.
I have never felt so happy before.
The happiness comes from knowing that she is fine, knowing that she misses me all these years, having her cares and loves me, and seeing her happy for her life.
I'm contented for the happiness i have now.
Today is really a good day for me. It will be a new start of my life's journey. (",)

Gratitude.

2009-05-12T06:56:00.000-07:00

I've promised my friend to thank him in the new post, so here i am again.
I used to remember who treats me good or bad.
For those who treat me good, i'm especially grateful to them.
Sometimes i lost, don't know what should i do to let them know it, as everyone can see, i am always the passive one instead of the active one. I cant really express it out.
Let's back to the subject, I would like to thank him for helping and guiding me in the stressful period. I can hardly think of anyone else who will sacrifice her/his time of sleep just to help a friend in something which is totally not important to her/him. Plus, he never ask for something in return every time he gives, not even a meal nor a present. How thoughtful and nice he is, to give but never take.
Thanks a million for what you have done, I appreciate it very much.
Even though i rarely get to meet him, but in my heart, there's always a place for this true friend.

Besides, i have another friend i wanted to thank, she's the one who never feel bored when listening to all my never-ending story. The distance does not tear our friendship apart, yet it strengthen it. As i'm worried about her condition, i've bought a mic and try to talk to her as much as i can. She is the only one that i can put down my mask and be my true self in front of her. I don't have to worry about if she will look down on me or dislike me for being like that.
It's just comfortable for me to be my own self in front of her. She knows what happened to me in the past and also the present. May be last time i have never been so grateful for that, but now i wish she will know what i really feel for this friendship in my heart. A true friend is a a person who knows your weakness but never look down on you, who knows quite well of your bad attitudes but accept it as that's the actual you, who is willing to give anytime anywhere for you and the friendship, who is always be there when you need him/her, who never mind to send regards,care and love to you.

Of course, i will never forget there are some more important friends in my life.
Like a special friend of mine who i met her in the toilet of the National Service camp with having same birthday as me. She has given me her advice and guidance to me when i was lost, other than that, she also brings care and love into my life. I will always remember that. "^_^"

The Climb, a good song to share.

2009-05-09T09:01:00.000-07:00

I can almost see it,
That dream I’m dreaming but..
There’s a voice inside my head said,
You’ll never reach it.
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels,
Lost with no direction,
My faith is shaking but I,
I gotta keep trying,
Gotta keep my head held high.

There’s always gonna be another mountain,
I’m always gonna wanna make it move,
Always gonna be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what's waiting on the other side,
It’s the climb.

The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking,
Sometimes might knock me down but,
No one not breaking.
I may not know it,
But these are the moments that,
I’m gonna remember most ya,
Just gotta keep going.
And I,
I gotta be strong,
Just keep pushing on.
Cause...

There’s always gonna be another mountain,
I’m always gonna wanna make it move,
Always gonna be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what's waiting on the other side,
It’s the climb.

There’s always gonna be another mountain,
I’m always gonna wanna make it move,
Always gonna be an uphill battle,
Somebody gonna have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what's waiting on the other side,
It’s the climb.

Keep on moving,
Keep climbing,
Keep the faith,
It’s all about...
It’s all about...
The climb.
Keep the faith,
Keep your faith.

Bumcity and the old lady.

2009-05-06T07:55:00.000-07:00

Last night i met an old lady at Midlands as i accompanied my boyfriend went there looking for a computer keyboard.
She reminded me the wonderful time i had when i was seventeen.
I worked as a part-timer since sixteen but that time had never been so fun and happy compare to the time i had at seventeen.
During the holiday after graduated from high school, I found a job at Bumcity Gurney Plaza.
There were vacancies for sales assistants/promoters. I've heard from my friend that they did not want to hire short term worker, so i lied (kind of normal situation for a student to get a job i guess), and I got the job.
Even though after 3 months I had to go for the National Service at Bukit Besar Kulim.
But,who cares?ha, I just wanted a job.
The first day at work, the manager showed me my work place, at that moment, I fell in love with my counter, perhaps, I could have called it love at first sight, as I had a big beautiful sea view right behind my counter and the whole scene would be MINE!
I could see the sunset every evening, I could see how the blue sky turned into the yellow-orangy sky and then turned into the dark mysterious night.
Besides, the counter and the storeroom space for my stocks were big, my job was to sell Bum's handbags, pouches, purses and shoes. And also doing all the paper works like calculating the total amount that earned everyday, doing account, etc. The most difficult one was doing the closing stock at the end of every month as I had never managed to balance the account. what a shame. =.="
so I have started my working life at Bumcity, went to work in the early morning 9.30am until 10pm at night with a low basic pay RM750 + overtime + commission.
I had a gorgeous lady supervisor who had had 2 kids but the figure still look great in shape.
I liked her very much, she was not only having a young face (she's already 30 something years old) and perfect body shape but also having a kind heart. With the good-heart she had, I believe she deserved a young and fabulous appearance.
I met a lot of nice people there other than my supervisor, one of them was the old lady who was selling "Kiam Sui Ti" (Chinese tit-bits & sweets), chocolates, and candies.
I always saw her eating alone at lunch/dinner time without mixing around, and may be, no one was willing to talk to her. Bumcity was a small city full of youngsters, we had rumours among the young boys and girls. And the aunties had their own group, as for old people, she might have to be alone.
She was the oldest among all. It was pitiful. I just couldn't see this pitiful thing happened in front of me. I was wondering if there was any possibility that she was the pathetic old witch who liked to curse all the time, that's why nobody talked to her?
curiosity would kill the cat...but anyway I'd decided to find out the answer. I tried my best to communicate with her. and then I know I was wrong, I shouldn't think that way,she's not a pathetic old witch but a VERY-kind-and-good hearted old lady who always possed a mild and benevolent smile on her face.
I was so happy that I got the chance to meet her in life. Since then, I ran away from my counter to her counter chatting with her whenever I got the chance to skip my duty.
I would never forget about her, be good to me like what my grandma used to be, and be so caring like my family.
I thought I wouldn't see her anymore after I left Bumcity and continue my journey of life.
Until last night I saw her again, after 5 years, she looked healthy, it was so great to see her still healthy like last time, otherwise every now and then when she came into my mind I would still worry about her.
Finally, I got where she lives, why not seize this opportunity (holiday) pay a visit to her place since I've promise her so?
Happiness is simple yet hard to get it in everyone's heart nowadays.
To all my friends,rather than spending time meaningless, why not doing something which is more meaningful in this holiday?
Find the meaning of your life! Did you visit your grandparents yet? or did you do one or more good thing(s) today?
Let's beautify the world with our love and care from now on.

The blog begins as the holiday begins.

2009-05-04T09:05:00.000-07:00

The holiday now begins,so is my blog.
I promise myself will update this empty blog once I'm free, and here I am. (",)
Today is a good day for me, and it will be a good start for my holiday as well, right?
The only thing that upset me is that I can't get to see my eldest sis tonight.
She supposed to be here right now, beside me and keeps talking about something that interest her and me.
perhaps, the Charles and Keith's handbags...
the skin care products...the perfumes...and so on.
I know she feels sad too, after 3 months staying at Jakarta and Medan all alone without friends and family,
the only people she gets to talk to are her colleagues.
I can see how delighted she was,counting down on the days to come back home seeing us...
I know the disappointment as our whole family have the same feeling too.
We are missing her..
This round, may be she'll be back and may be not.
I have already written another birthday card for her just like every past years.
The life time collection of hers - Cards.
Anyway,I hope she will be back soon. This holiday, I'm expecting her, and so do my family.
So, forget about the bad mood ...let's see what I'm going to do for this holiday!
I guess,It's time for me to start doing my holiday to-do list.
First, clean up my room and bath my dog.
Second, go to bank.
Third, make appointment for the facial treatment (3 weeks' late-sleep and stress causes bad skin condition) =P
Fourth, buy dog food and get the medicine for my dog. (he's coughing every day and night)
Fifth, buy body's essential oil for infrared sauna. (beautiful skin is what girls concern) =P
Sixth, make appointment with my friends ~
*Wei Ling and Sweet Kay are too busy, I have to make appointment first before they are occupied for something else.
*Yuh Yin and I have called up each other for a meeting more than 5 times, until now still don't get to meet up (=.="),
so this time I must keep my words of meeting her after the submission of my assignment.
Seventh, jump into the swimming pool - a place where I find tranquility in mind.
Eighth, read my novel (Thanks for the Memories or the Secret Shopper's Revenge)
Ninth, watch all the downloaded Japanese movies in my laptop.
Tenth, GO FOR A SHOP! (time to give a brand new look for my closet by changing the stuff inside)
What a relaxing holiday~
Is there anything I missed out? oh ya, walk my dog everyday, he was kind of depressed since I started my assignment and didn't bring him out. Before that, I used to let him run in the garden or walk to the playground from my house.
This holiday, release out the negative energy and replace it with brand new positive energy. Ain't it a good start anyway?
Happy holiday, to my classmates and my angel Kelly! =D